By Asha Shajahan, MD, MHSA
We have all had that experience where it seems that we are not moving, we are holding on, or no matter what we do, we don’t seem to be advancing. We are unable to manifest our desires. This emotional, mental and physical experience is being “stuck.”
What are Negative Habit Loops?
Negative habit loops are behaviors with a cue, craving, response and reward that continues in a vicious cycle. (Cue: Stress; Craving: Eat Something;Response: Eat chocolate; Reward: Temporarily feel better but in the long term gain weight). The way to break a negative habit loop is to replace it with a healthy habit loop. But before, focusing on creating a healthy habit loop, we need to understand the root of the problem.
Habits are signals of how we feel- maybe we are bored, lonely or stressed. Understanding why these feelings are occurring can help identify what needs to transform to create a positive habit loop.
Why do we get stuck?
We often have a limited perception of who we are and what we are cable of. We don’t always see ourselves through the lens that the world views us. If you are not sure who you are, do a 360 evaluation with your friends and colleagues. You may be surprised to find what others perceive you to excel at and also see common themes regarding your behavior. Getting some feedback can help provide perspective. With that, you can begin introspection in creating a vision of what you want for your life and what impact you desire to have on others. It can be helpful to write a vision board, listing what makes you most happy, what makes you upset, and what you dream of. As companies do for a business, write a mission/vision statement that guides YOUR life’s purpose.
Sometimes, we are stuck because we are afraid of knowing who we reallyare because there is a disconnect from who we reallyare and our current career or life-style. We live to others’ expectations of us and not to our own mantra. From 8 years of age, we begin “people pleasing” or looking for approval and validation from others. We focus so much on image, keeping our families proud and societal expectations that we lose sight of our own story. We begin to live the life of a story written for us by well-intended loved ones rather than living our own truth. We may realize that what we want is the antithesis of what is expected of us. This fear can paralyze us. Being afraid to make a major change can leave us stuck in a career or life-style that is not naturally a part of who we are deep in our hearts.
I invite you to reflect on these tips and perhaps you can start your journey to being unstuck.
To learn more about getting unstuck visit Beaumont House Call Podcast available on itunes, stitcher, apple podcasts.